Packaging for the Middle Classes

The cricket box is one form of packaging specifically designed for protecting the genitalia of those decent chaps who chose to engage in that most civilized of games. The strange kind of crotch padding used by road cyclists beneath the gussets of their clammy Lycra shorts is another type of packaging for those who belong to the sporty central social strata, a distant cousin of the box, possessed and utilized by many members of the active class. It is customary for the men and women of the earl grey set to be seen adjusting said packaging without shame or discretion during periods of rest taken whilst participating in their sports of choice. The manipulation of said packaging often incorporates a degree of lunging, squatting and spitting onto the nearest surface. Behaviour which I personally believe to be unacceptable.

Women of the middle class are unfortunate in that they are required to wear some kind of upper packaging, to prevent certain glands from becoming volatile, and are thus required to endure twice the ritual when pausing to adjust. Whether it is out cruising on some skinny de caff excuse for a push bike, or stopping for a few Ryvita’s and a green tea at the tennis club the strange yet unique sight of jiggling of bingo wing combined with bow legged wedgie tweaking  and inner thigh rubbing is something to behold. A civilized set reduced to clowns, slaves to their shrink wraps and their egg cartons.

Joe Davies