How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram. For the boys dress code is strict, your shirt must be a size too small paired with a slim fit trouser and obligatory desert boot purchased at a Vintage store, the type in which old clothes engrained with other peoples sweat are flogged for more than they were originally purchased. Fifteen pounds or so for a t shirt that is ten years old and smells like deodorant.

Glasses are preferred because they take the edge off of the artsy tattoos adorning the hipster forearm, shirt sleeves up of course; their shirts are all too small after all.  As a general rule the hipster community consists of a high proportion of wiry young men with androgynous features usually complimented with a trim beard to round off the look. Quaffed hair is a must, and only a quiff or a full scrape over will suffice. Terrified as they are of drowning in the mainstream, they never fail to look good whilst they frantically try and swim away from the whirlpool of convention, by reading Proust over a flat white, never a cappuccino, on a Samsung handset, never an Apple, in the kind of eatery that has things like ‘let the coffee do the talking’ written on the menus. Barf.

Hipster’s are like the thinking man’s Guido, or perhaps hipsters are the new bro’s. Who could say for sure? There is a definite correlation on the trend toward sporting thin white vests under open flannel shirts but in the case of the hipster the causal factor in this is that their shirts are really just too small and they need to cover themselves for purposes of insulation. Coffee shops can be draughty.  In addition they do not apparently subscribe to butch lifestyle choices as this might mess up their expensive hair cut’s but instead opt for more of a Mad Men style quiet brooding  sixties machismo, complete with faux vintage ray ban.