What’s wrong with this picture? Almost everything.

Breakfast disaster

First of all one should not take pictures of your meals. Well I don’t think so.

This one is placed merely as evidence of major breakfast criminal activity. I go for a FEB ( Full English Breakfast ) every now and again with chums. We arrive as the cafe in question opens and choose from the varied menu. I’m hoping to persuade said chums go go somewhere else in the future as I pick major faults in the above.

First of all the beans are not separated from the rest of the items by any sort of barrier when there are 2 perfectly good sausages that are the normal bean barrier. Actually the sausages were not perfectly good, distinctly average. This is a major error as bean juice is likely to invade other areas of the plate uninvited.

Second, the bacon is flaccid and fatty when it should be crisp.

Third: fried bread, positioned reasonably well close to the egg, but it was cold and greasy.

Last and perhaps the most unforgivable factor was: the egg was BROKEN! You cannot under any circumstances serve a fried egg with broken yoke and it’s lodgings next to the beans where yoke and bean can intermingle is frankly unforgivable.

It’s time to move on.


  1. The perpetrator here was clearly a Newbie Of Breakfasts as, on top of the abysmal presentation he has also forgotten the black pudding, mushrooms, tinned (controversial!) whole plum tomatoes, side of toast and possibly hash browns (although I never really cared for them myself). There is nothing full about this English breakfast!

    1. All those would have been ‘extras’ and hash browns as you intimate are not really English, we’d call them fried potatoes I suppose.
      Juxtaposition was only part of the problem, juxtaposition a word normally reserved for people who judge art.More on this word later.

  2. Oh gosh, yes, looks horrid. I have a FB friend who is always posting English breakfasts and food that look like they are straight out of the cafeteria and this reminded me of that.

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