Apostrophe timebomb.

I’m not good with these and have recently joined a Facebook Gardener’s group called: Gardeners Question Time and someone has taken issue about the lack of apostrophe. Some wit speculated that the true meaning of the group was ” Gardeners question the meaning of time” , rather than what I think was the real intention which most would have thought was ” Gardeners asking questions of each other”. There have been over a hundred responses on Facebook to the thread so far.

Here’s my own take on it

apostrophe348

 

If you are curious you might be able to find it here: Gardeners getting huffy about punctuation

 

Heckmondwike, the consequences…

A gathering of tea cups or mugs, unwashed. Left in a place of work, the collective noun is as we all know by now a ‘heckmondwike’. But the consequences of such a thing when dishwashers are present is even more aggravating and confirms my dislike of these infernal machines.

I’ve already gone on about how unsociable they are, but with the possibility of a ‘heck’ ( one is allowed to shorten the noun when in common parlance ) there comes the likelihood of a ‘oswaldtwistle‘, or more commonly the shortened version a ‘twistle’. As anyone with any knowledge of English will know this is the word used for retrieving a dirty mug from a dishwasher when there are none left in the vast store cupboard that normally holds at least twenty to try and minimise the risk. It also means ‘ a very bad turn of mood’ like when a spotty oik assistant in a shop ignores you when looking at mobile phone and heads for the chap next to you who’s just walked in. The wheeling of a mobile shopping bag guarantees that this  spotty oik will deem you completely invisible. Hence the phrase on the return of a shopping trip with aforementioned mobile shopping bag: “I dropped into Carphone Warehouse to see if they would give me an upgrade on my iPhone 6 for something even more expensive and the oik ignored me completely and talked to some young bloke about how cool the iPhone 4 was. I got into a right twistle, and stomped out.


I’ve a liking ,which is obvious from the last couple of posts, to making up new meanings from place names. The inspiration is a book called the Meaning of Liff which was written by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd, the former the writer of Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and the latter a humorist who does lots of stuff on Radio 4. The book was published years ago and to me is their finest work. Seek it out and enjoy. I’ve done my own version recently which is based on Gloucestershire place names only and is called “Glossary”. I’ll be posting extracts and drawings from it over the coming months. The drawing has been posted before but it bears repeating, if you’ve seen it before then calm down, no need to get into a twistle, there will be a brand new drawing in the next postinginvisible

Murder Weekend…

Murderweekend

Going through some old stuff, yet again, and came upon this. I used to do drawings every week or so for the English Tourist Board. They, or the people that I worked for in particular, were brilliant to work for. I think I can say that we had a lot of laughs. The English Tourist Board no longer exists by that name, they were amalgamated and mashed together with other places and in the end evaporated up their own corporate guidelines.

This was to highlight an article about Murder Weekends where people get together in large hotels, together with a group of actors and they all have to find out who was responsible for the so-called ‘murder’. It’s the sort of thing that would be absolute murder for me.