Month: March 2015
There’s an elephant in the garden.
This is a little piece that was done the other evening at our writer’s group, the subject was kindly donated by my chum Andy Harden who also writes this sort of stuff, and which is published on http://www.unknownitems.com Take a little look sometime if you have nothing better to do and need to fill in time. The same applies to this.
“Mum, why’s there an elephant in the garden?”
Oh, dear George I’m not sure that’s so, but wait, there is!
I do beg your pardon.
“It’s huge Mum, and it’s bum’s near the glass
It’ll smash the conservative, with it’s big fat ass”
Is it African or Indian, can you tell from here,
The difference is simple, the size of the ear.
“Too close to call”, screamedGeorge in panic.
“Shall I dial 999, it looks quite satanic”.
I think the boys in blue might not be too cheered,
by the thought of an elephant on the loose around here.
“Well what can we do then?” said George in alarm.
“We can’t keep him here, could we find a farm?”
“I could take him to school Mum”, said George in a mutter.
You can’t do that dear, they’ll think I’m a nutter.
Let’s give him some food and a small glass of wine,
then ask if he’ll stay, he’ll relax, he’ll be fine.
“It’s going dark Mum, and he’s still not been fed”.
Don’t worry George, said Mum, he’s asleep now in our garden shed.
…and yes conservative is spelt right.
And for those of you reading outside the UK, we dial 999 for emergency services here in England.
Are you holding my hand?
This caption was by another of my chums at the writer’s group: Naomi Mulligan, I’ve amended it slightly. Author’s rights!
After the eclipse,it turned out very sunny.
So here in Cheltenham at 9-30 this morning it went darker, not much darker than normal, and then it went light again. Very light. So I took advantage of a it and went for a walk with ‘she with the map’. A new booklet came through the door with walks in the area and we tested one out: Sheepscombe
Brilliant sunny afternoon and we came across this, which is supposed to be the most beautiful cricket field in England. It’s in Sheepscombe in Gloucestershire and has just the most stunning views across the valley. Laurie Lee, the famous poet and writer apparently used to play here and had a hand in preserving it as a cricket field ad infinitum. The gorse was beginning to open and the birds were in abundance enjoying a warm afternoon. What could be better, perhaps a half pint of bitter before a return to urban life, if it can be called that in leafy Cheltenham. Sadly the pub was shut, and activity around the area was just mums collecting children from the local village school.
Drawing cartoons is best done on days when it’s cold and rainy outside, an afternoon like this afternoon is best used for getting out and feeling the sun on your back and looking at the birds and the trees.
It’s got beer in it.
Today’s caption is by Tony Farmer. I suspect he is fond of beer.
Tony is another talented member of the writer’s group here in Cheltenham which perhaps should be called the ‘City of Words’ with it’s fine literary festival, and probably would be if the town’s publicity department could have their way, and if it was a city and not a town.
Perhaps I should n’t have said that, it might rankle with them.
Say right and take a left.
This is an adapted idea from Penny Foley, another of the writer’s group who helped with punchlines, big thanks to her too.
The snow’s whiter over there
Today’s caption, with small addition is also by Peter Stone.
