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How did our cartoonist do?

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Five stars: I fell on the ground, clutching for breath, it was so funny and pithy. And I wasn’t pithed. To add to the delight, it was beautifully captured in exquisite line work and colour. Four stars: I laughed out loud, great joke, only let down by an average drawing. Three stars: I breathed in as if to laugh, but am convinced this is not the first time I’ve seen or heard this joke. Very average drawing did not help Two stars: Just not very funny. It looks like the drawing took a nanosecond. Very poor. One star: Offensive rather … Continue reading How did our cartoonist do?

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The Black Shed of Slad.

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From quite some years ago now, I was driving in the little, very bright yellow van ( 100% Yellow plus 15% Magenta for complete accuracy) towards Stroud on a mission for the company I worked for: Severnprint. I was probably delivering proofs for a job and trying to drum up a little more work from the area. In those days, one could wander around trading estates and shops looking for work. I learnt early in my brief and not that distinguished career as a print salesman ( though it read ‘ Account Manager ‘ on the business card) that one … Continue reading The Black Shed of Slad.

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Why do we do what we do?

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It’s a question that I keep asking myself. At the outset, I used to draw for a living. It was generally a collaborative sort of thing; in short, I was a commercial artist with a bent for large noses. I’ve drawn a lot of stuff, and generally, I was asked to do it for money, so I got lucky. Later, I was asked for ideas on what to draw, so although collaborative, I sort of got more authorship, if you want to use a fancy name for it. I came up with some of the odd ideas all by myself. … Continue reading Why do we do what we do?

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‘Tis the season of ye additive.

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What is it with food people, the ones who decide that it’s a good idea to lace food with booze, for instance? It sells is the answer. In a moment of ‘idea spasm’ when shopping for ‘someone difficult’, some shoppers think that buying a jar of overpriced marmalade that has brandy or whisky added is a jolly good idea. When aforementioned marmalade is unsullied by alcohol, it tastes good; but laced with booze, it tastes odd. Once the idea gets a grip, there’s an outbreak of buying additive-added foodstuffs. Double cream is probably bad for the waistline, but with added … Continue reading ‘Tis the season of ye additive.

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I’m very close to Amanda

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In fact, we have a bit of a relationship. I go to see her whenever I need some fruit, if you get my drift. Might this be a midlife crisis? No, not at all. It’s a fiction conjured up by that stupid spellchecker: “I know what you want to say thingy” on my text messages. “Who is this Amanda?” asks Mike with a bit of a smirk as the wait for him outside Marks and Spencer comes to an end. I look at him and then check my messages. “I’m very close to Amanda”, it confesses. MandS. The job in … Continue reading I’m very close to Amanda

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“The holidays?”

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All heard within an hour on a walk from one area to another yesterday. ___________________________________ ” Mummy, I want to be a Muslim” “Why is that dear?” “The holidays?” ____________________________________ ” Well I was going to go to Edinburgh but if they want to amputate I might have to go to Wales” _____________________________________ Father to two small daughters: “… He just wanted to keep his nuts dry” ( Much laughter from the two daughters ) One suspects a Squirrel joke _____________________________________ Continue reading “The holidays?”

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Bruvver.

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There are 11 months between us, and my surprise arrival may well have generated some ‘heat’ for our father at the time. Me on the left, John with one hand protecting me and the other picking my pocket, perhaps. His birthday is on the same date as the King’s, so he gets a reminder. The cartoonist and the antique dealer, who would have thought it, both now at an age where we are both not quite antiques but might be termed ‘collectables’. The plan was to take a trip to West Wales to celebrate my brother’s significant birthday. I thought … Continue reading Bruvver.

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Disruption of Library Services

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Shocking news. They emailed me, and it seems like I won’t be able to borrow a book on Wednesday. War and Peace will have to wait. In the scheme of things, it’s grim news amongst a lot of grim news. Perhaps we should get a protest together, but it is pretty short notice to organise properly and it would only be for the one day. I could try writing to my MP, but again, it’s a bit short notice for him to bring it up in Parliament. The whole thing is just too shocking for words. We shall say no … Continue reading Disruption of Library Services

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“Go on then, make me laugh”

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I listen to a lot of Radio 4, and there’s a lot of humour on the channel, and even more talk about whether something is funny or not. There’s a lot of ‘or not’ too. “Feedback”, a programme that looks at Radio 4 output, has recently had people complaining about a ‘so-called funny programme’ (so-called used here because they think it’s not ) called “Jonathan Pie”. This character first appeared on Social media and was a credible take on a TV News presenter’s foul-mouthed interaction between him and his producer, Roger. It was funny because it was so credible. For … Continue reading “Go on then, make me laugh”

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Never buy from your Auntie

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She was a lovely lady beneath the grump. Smoked like a chimney and as if she had to suck the thing to death. There I was without a car back in the early Rooster years. My partner (business rather than pleasure, but a pleasure doing business with him) and I were doing okay and managing our fledgling business quite well. Our only sleepless nights were when we were working due to the demands of the advertising businesses we served. It was the time of the three-day week in the 1970s when the lights went out, for Graham and me, the lights … Continue reading Never buy from your Auntie

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Sliding door moment: cow gum,dandruff and the Rooster years

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I’d been in London for a while, 2 years perhaps, I’d got a job firstly at a smallish ad agency on Picadilly facing Green Park. It was a job I didn’t really understand and they gave me a tiny office next door to a large office where the Creative Director occupied his time. I was supposed to be his assistant. A sort of ‘Gofer’ , go for this or go for that. It was not a job I enjoyed very much but it put me in contact with other assistant art directors, in particular with a bloke from Pembrokeshire called … Continue reading Sliding door moment: cow gum,dandruff and the Rooster years