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I’m very close to Amanda

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In fact, we have a bit of a relationship. I go to see her whenever I need some fruit, if you get my drift. Might this be a midlife crisis? No, not at all. It’s a fiction conjured up by that stupid spellchecker: “I know what you want to say thingy” on my text messages. “Who is this Amanda?” asks Mike with a bit of a smirk as the wait for him outside Marks and Spencer comes to an end. I look at him and then check my messages. “I’m very close to Amanda”, it confesses. MandS. The job in … Continue reading I’m very close to Amanda

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“The holidays?”

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All heard within an hour on a walk from one area to another yesterday. ___________________________________ ” Mummy, I want to be a Muslim” “Why is that dear?” “The holidays?” ____________________________________ ” Well I was going to go to Edinburgh but if they want to amputate I might have to go to Wales” _____________________________________ Father to two small daughters: “… He just wanted to keep his nuts dry” ( Much laughter from the two daughters ) One suspects a Squirrel joke _____________________________________ Continue reading “The holidays?”

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Bruvver.

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There are 11 months between us, and my surprise arrival may well have generated some ‘heat’ for our father at the time. Me on the left, John with one hand protecting me and the other picking my pocket, perhaps. His birthday is on the same date as the King’s, so he gets a reminder. The cartoonist and the antique dealer, who would have thought it, both now at an age where we are both not quite antiques but might be termed ‘collectables’. The plan was to take a trip to West Wales to celebrate my brother’s significant birthday. I thought … Continue reading Bruvver.

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Disruption of Library Services

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Shocking news. They emailed me, and it seems like I won’t be able to borrow a book on Wednesday. War and Peace will have to wait. In the scheme of things, it’s grim news amongst a lot of grim news. Perhaps we should get a protest together, but it is pretty short notice to organise properly and it would only be for the one day. I could try writing to my MP, but again, it’s a bit short notice for him to bring it up in Parliament. The whole thing is just too shocking for words. We shall say no … Continue reading Disruption of Library Services

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“Go on then, make me laugh”

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I listen to a lot of Radio 4, and there’s a lot of humour on the channel, and even more talk about whether something is funny or not. There’s a lot of ‘or not’ too. “Feedback”, a programme that looks at Radio 4 output, has recently had people complaining about a ‘so-called funny programme’ (so-called used here because they think it’s not ) called “Jonathan Pie”. This character first appeared on Social media and was a credible take on a TV News presenter’s foul-mouthed interaction between him and his producer, Roger. It was funny because it was so credible. For … Continue reading “Go on then, make me laugh”

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Never buy from your Auntie

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She was a lovely lady beneath the grump. Smoked like a chimney and as if she had to suck the thing to death. There I was without a car back in the early Rooster years. My partner (business rather than pleasure, but a pleasure doing business with him) and I were doing okay and managing our fledgling business quite well. Our only sleepless nights were when we were working due to the demands of the advertising businesses we served. It was the time of the three-day week in the 1970s when the lights went out, for Graham and me, the lights … Continue reading Never buy from your Auntie

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Sliding door moment: cow gum,dandruff and the Rooster years

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I’d been in London for a while, 2 years perhaps, I’d got a job firstly at a smallish ad agency on Picadilly facing Green Park. It was a job I didn’t really understand and they gave me a tiny office next door to a large office where the Creative Director occupied his time. I was supposed to be his assistant. A sort of ‘Gofer’ , go for this or go for that. It was not a job I enjoyed very much but it put me in contact with other assistant art directors, in particular with a bloke from Pembrokeshire called … Continue reading Sliding door moment: cow gum,dandruff and the Rooster years

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One tiny coin and a massive story

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A trip out with good friend Mike and abandoning the idea of a very wet walk we settled on culture. This time to the Corinium Museum in Cirencester. It’s many years since I’ve been there and in the interim they’ve had a massive upgrade. Terrific place, light and airy and with loads of fascinating stuff to look at hear and read. We only got as far as the Romans and plan another trip to delve further. Cirencester is well known for its Roman ruins and ‘finds’ but this coin featured here and found in the area came from well before … Continue reading One tiny coin and a massive story

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“Mustn’t grumble.“

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It’s a phrase that sort of kills the conversation. Grumbling may be the thing that I do best. There’s something very British about it, as we seem to have specialised in grumbling on a scale that is unheard of. There are of course legitimate reasons to grumble, loads of them , so plenty of fuel for the fire. But the grumblers seem to have the upper hand in almost everything, and some earn a living from it. I find it difficult to think of the opposite to a Grumbler, perhaps we can find a word for those people who are … Continue reading “Mustn’t grumble.“

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The Potter and Funny Business

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Back in the early 80s I had an agent, their business was marketing and selling illustrators and cartoonists like myself to ad agencies and design companies. There were only 2 or 3 people in the business and they were good at what they did. Generating work for us and generally getting very good fees for us, the sort that we artists would never have the brass nerve to ask. We got on well. Times were good. Each Christmas we were tasked with thinking off something novel to give to out clients, apart from just a free lunch at a fancy … Continue reading The Potter and Funny Business

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Face to Face with Napoleon

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“Can Simon come out to play?” It was a simple request to the father of a boy along the modest terrace of houses where we lived way back probably 70 years ago. The father, like my own dad, was a young police officer and the police houses belonging to an estate where the big estate house served as a training establishment for the force. My father and this neighbour of ours would both have been instructors at the Police College. “I’m sorry” came the reply “ he’s busy reading ‘Face to Face with Napoleon‘ so he cannot. I went home … Continue reading Face to Face with Napoleon