“Go on then, make me laugh”

I listen to a lot of Radio 4, and there’s a lot of humour on the channel, and even more talk about whether something is funny or not. There’s a lot of ‘or not’ too. “Feedback”, a programme that looks at Radio 4 output, has recently had people complaining about a ‘so-called funny programme’ (so-called used here because they think it’s not ) called “Jonathan Pie”. This character first appeared on Social media and was a credible take on a TV News presenter’s foul-mouthed interaction between him and his producer, Roger. It was funny because it was so credible. For … Continue reading “Go on then, make me laugh”

Never buy from your Auntie

She was a lovely lady beneath the grump. Smoked like a chimney and as if she had to suck the thing to death. There I was without a car back in the early Rooster years. My partner (business rather than pleasure, but a pleasure doing business with him) and I were doing okay and managing our fledgling business quite well. Our only sleepless nights were when we were working due to the demands of the advertising businesses we served. It was the time of the three-day week in the 1970s when the lights went out, for Graham and me, the lights … Continue reading Never buy from your Auntie

Sliding door moment: cow gum,dandruff and the Rooster years

I’d been in London for a while, 2 years perhaps, I’d got a job firstly at a smallish ad agency on Picadilly facing Green Park. It was a job I didn’t really understand and they gave me a tiny office next door to a large office where the Creative Director occupied his time. I was supposed to be his assistant. A sort of ‘Gofer’ , go for this or go for that. It was not a job I enjoyed very much but it put me in contact with other assistant art directors, in particular with a bloke from Pembrokeshire called … Continue reading Sliding door moment: cow gum,dandruff and the Rooster years

The Potter and Funny Business

Back in the early 80s I had an agent, their business was marketing and selling illustrators and cartoonists like myself to ad agencies and design companies. There were only 2 or 3 people in the business and they were good at what they did. Generating work for us and generally getting very good fees for us, the sort that we artists would never have the brass nerve to ask. We got on well. Times were good. Each Christmas we were tasked with thinking off something novel to give to out clients, apart from just a free lunch at a fancy … Continue reading The Potter and Funny Business

Face to Face with Napoleon

“Can Simon come out to play?” It was a simple request to the father of a boy along the modest terrace of houses where we lived way back probably 70 years ago. The father, like my own dad, was a young police officer and the police houses belonging to an estate where the big estate house served as a training establishment for the force. My father and this neighbour of ours would both have been instructors at the Police College. “I’m sorry” came the reply “ he’s busy reading ‘Face to Face with Napoleon‘ so he cannot. I went home … Continue reading Face to Face with Napoleon

Reading aloud should not have been allowed.

I started writing this blog over ten years ago. I was encouraged by being in a local writers group, though somewhat intimidated by some of the more skilled members who could write superb stuff straight off in our meetings. The idea of the group is to be given a subject, write for an hour, then read it out. I wrote some awful drivel and eventually gave up, but used to pop in now and again to listen to some of the stars. I then found it more natural to write this blog, at home! I’m still in the group, I … Continue reading Reading aloud should not have been allowed.

Butter on the ceiling

I’m doing a bit of recycling here, I originally published this 3 years ago. I have been back to the school in the past year for a Reunion dinner, which brought back a few ghosts of my time there. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I went to boarding school, many years ago. At meal times, if you could call them that as the cooking was a not the very best, but there was alway bread and ‘jam’ to fill up on. The bread was thick white sliced, the butter was margarine in a plastic bowl, and the jam was normally red stuff that tasted … Continue reading Butter on the ceiling

The Road Trip, The Reunion and an Italian speaking Uber driver.

We decided to take a trip back to our lives when we were 6 and even younger. My brother and I set off on a journey to Lancashire where we spent out early years. John’s good at driving so he was roped in to be at the wheel. He’s used to long hours at the wheel gathering antiques for his business from contacts up in the North. I only ever went on one of these buying trips once but it was an education. He had what seemed then to be a bladder the size of a garden water butt, able … Continue reading The Road Trip, The Reunion and an Italian speaking Uber driver.

Back to school

I was last at art school in the 60s and if my memory serves me right, the art bit was not on the top of my priority list. I was then a recently released internee from a boarding school I was not terribly aware of the world. In my first year at this art school I was allowed to have a go at everything, with a base layer of life drawing. The first time I’d ever seen a naked woman for life drawing, and this one seemed to be having a day off from being a traffic warden. I did … Continue reading Back to school

Dark chocolate and a baguette.

My mother gave me a fruitcake to give to the French. She’d arranged the trip for me with a friend who worked at the local girl’s grammar school. I was to be the only boy amongst thirty 16 year old schoolgirls going on a French exchange to Paris. Sounded reasonable to me, I might learn a thing or two. I did and it wasn’t all French. To put this in context I was a boarder at the local all boy’s grammar school. My contact with any girls at all was minimal. Our school did no such sort of exchange with … Continue reading Dark chocolate and a baguette.

Gill by the River.

When I went for an interview with a lady called Ruth Gill at a huge ad agency in London back when stuff was in black and white and the London tube had wooden escalators, she asked me at the end of the interview what my hobbies were. My reply was ‘ I haven’t got the job have I?’ She was gracious in her reply and said she was sorry ‘No’. I think she used the question to fill the gap after the more serious questions and what’s more she was not remotely interested in what I did in my spare … Continue reading Gill by the River.

Books you might not want to read on a train.

“Surrounded by Idiots”. It’s a book lent to me by my daughter in law whose high powered job is to look after people, not in a nursing sense, she’s big in Human Resources. Spends hours of her days talking on the telephone or via computer to people all over the world. The book is about people types and how they can be graded in colour, and on reading the first bit of it I started to understand exactly what it was talking about. It tells of a CEO of a large company who said he was surrounded by idiots, and … Continue reading Books you might not want to read on a train.