Your pencil’s out of date…

I’m sorry Sir but you’ll need to upgrade to a Wacom super Doopa model to be able to draw any more. You see you upgraded your operating system to Brexit 0.18 from Brexit 0.16, and with this new software you simply can’t operate properly.

” but the curser moves around the map quite easily, but won’t let me draw the line anywehere”

The earlier operating system, which was originally Euro.74 took a while to develop and then was shelved when Brexit 0.16 came along. It seemed popular at the time but having been released it seems that .16 has loads of bugs and fixes needed.

” What sort of bugs?”

Well it promised a lot but delivered very little, a bit like the rail network, Har Har! Then came the Boris. Seemed to come out of nowhere and , if you’ll forgive the pun, put a bit of  a Spaniard in the works, don’t tell them in Gibraltar! 300 million quid a week would be pencilled in for the NHS, but that was fiction too. It was all just a farage of lies.

Then it was hit with the Gove Virus and they both sort of imploded.  A MayFix was put in place and that was about as useful as running through a field of straw chasing a bloody difficult woman. Control Alt Delete. System crashed!

“You’ve lost me here I’ve got the basic system and it seemed to be working well, and then I updated my system and now nothing works as it should do.

Well, let me explain, unlike your average pencil the Wacom Super Brexit Pencil, which you’ve chosen to use, only works on the updated system if you spend a lot of money on a new model. In other words, you can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead! Har!Har! Again! Seriously though, if you want I can send you a link to how deal with this problem just click here


I suppose this all sounds a bit like tea from China: far fetched. I have for some years now used a digital pad or tablet, to draw or retouch my original drawings. It’s been brilliant, no complaints at all. As is my habit I recently updated the operating system on my Mac, after which the Wacom tablet, my trusty digital pencil, lost it’s point. It ceased to function.

I rather like those sites where you can ask for help by what is called chat. So I chatted to Wacom. They politely told me that my pencil would no longer work on my updated Mac, and that I could go back to how things used to be by downscaling my operating system, or go and get the latest Wacom tablet and part with some of my hard earned. My chat went something like the above, but not really.

I’m glad I’m only watching.


A weekend of rugby on the telly, and am constantly amazed that they get to the end of a game in one piece. I used to play many years ago, generally very badly, a standard in all sports that I tried to maintian at all times, though I was really not that bad at table tennis.

I thought I ought to carry on playing rugby even when I left school and turned out for a team in suburban North London, where they were desparate for players, so I was a shoe-in! I even carried on playing after breaking my jaw in two places playing for the advertisisng agency I worked for in those days. I inadvertently put my head in the way of an opposing players knee in what was supposed to be a tackle. He went down like a tree and so did I, but he got up and I stayed down.

Six weeks with my jaw wired did wonders for weight loss and creative cooking, eating everything through a straw! I had to buy a liquidiser.

I retired after loosing some fillings in a game three days after having them put there.

This drawing is from some time ago, and sort of illustrates what I thought I should have done in that match at the time.

Hope you all feel ready to tackle another week! Haw, haw!




Settling in…


I’ve not been doing a lot of drawing just recently. Events have rather got in the way, moving house being one of them. I’m gradually settling in to my new studio and hope to be back with pen in hand very soon. Like in this heady self portrait, I have views of trees.

Thanks for dropping by.

Member Success Manager? What bollocks is this?

I’m a cartoonist, not a Chuckle Muscle Activator or a Pencil Pilot. This job description thing is getting a little out of hand. I used to work, later in my career, in a so called proper job where it was deemed that I was a Customer Account Manager, that was bollocks too, I was a salesman and proud of it.

It seems like everyone theses days is looking for a job description that is never negative ( as salesperson might be, I blame Death of a Salesman by Miserable Arthur Miller. Married to Marilyn Monroe, what had he got to be miserable about? )

This morning we got a very fine bunch of flowers for a birthday ecelebration and it came in a clear gel. Not knowing quite where to put the gel, I asked the people who sent it what was the best thing to do. The reply was from a Member Success Manager.

Too silly.dooleyrumblegrumble343


Coming soon…well in January.


I’ve been working on a little booklet for the Stroud Wassail. This was taken when I visitied it last year. It’s quite a day and I’ll be putting more information out there as we get a little closer to it.

It’s a great way to cheer up a dull January day, I assume he’s smiling under there!