Tag: Humour

Babies, Twins, Grandchildren

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Gnomes are where the heart is?

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There I was rifling through some old files and looking at some back up work from eons ago and what should pop up, but this. It was commissioned, I’m not sure by who now but looks like electrical goods to me. I recycled a joke used in an even earlier drawing, which is the film that Rudolf is watching just before Christmas. It’s ” A Mince Pie to Far”, any suggestions for starring roles will be appreciated. What’s different about this is it is pre digital and all done in magic marker and chalks which is the odd mix of … Continue reading Gnomes are where the heart is?

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What’s the betting you don’t win?

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Cheltenham Race Week starts tomorrow, I think. I live down the road from the course but I’ve never been there. I’m sure it’s a wonderful event and the town will be filled with a heady mix of racegoers looking for the full English Breakfast or even the full Irish, as many of them are from Ireland. The bookies have a heyday and the streets start to fill with young women dressed as jockeys in a rather unseemly attempt at attracting business. Some of them have obviously never been near a horse and the horse would probably be thankful for that. … Continue reading What’s the betting you don’t win?

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Look out for forking lifters.

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Listening tonight to the radio I heard someone saying that Monet spent ten years working on some of his paintings, well this idea is at least ten years old and was intended for a campaign on safety at work. I’ve resurrected it as it was a good idea then, and a good idea now. If it’s good enough for Monet then it’s good enough for me. There was a time not that long ago when I worked at a factory where a young lady used to drive the fork lift. She was a bit of an expert but as mad … Continue reading Look out for forking lifters.

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Building blokes…

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It’s expected of men to be able to use a power tool as if they have a degree in advanced woodworking when the only skills you might have are being able to draw a relatively straight line. I’ve put up shelves, and the effort and result nearly gave me a nervous breakdown. I always claimed to my wife, who said they were not straight, that they were ‘visually straight’, which means they were n’t straight. I’ve even been known to try my hand at bricklaying though it was only in the garden. It was something that I found extremely satisfying … Continue reading Building blokes…

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Amberley

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Amberley The way an old gardener walks with head facing downwards looking for weeds. An orginal garden gait.   Amberley is in actual fact a small village between Stroud and Nailsworth and is on the side of the hill, the sunny side at that. It’s very ‘sought-after’ these days in estate agent speak, which to you and me is expensive. There may well be gardeners in the area. Continue reading Amberley

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Bibury, how the Japanese avoid it.

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Bibury The walk of a tourist who does not undertsand what he/she should be doing, or seeing, or indeed why they are where they are at all. Involves walking slowly in one direction and then in another random direction, even the person doing the walking does not understand exactly why or in which direction they might be going. The presence of vehicles makes this a dangerous activity and can result in a split bibury which is where the group is bisected by traffic and can induce panic amongst the assembly.  It’s all a sorry sight. Pity them. Common in the … Continue reading Bibury, how the Japanese avoid it.

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Glossary : A Collection of Gloucestershire Place Names

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More true meanings of Gloucestershire place names, glossary meaning a collection of Gloucestershire place names, as you well know. I’m planning a small book, illustrated of course, with the whole truth and nothing but the truthity truth. I’ll tell you when it’s done. Frampton Mansell The outfit worn by a large huntsman. Rather too tight across the backside and gut as the owner has generally owned it and worn it from when he was at least three trouser sizes thinner. Puts the horse under exceptional strain. See also Hartbury as someone displaying a Frampton will generally respond to to an … Continue reading Glossary : A Collection of Gloucestershire Place Names

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Guiting power, the unknown force.

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Guiting Power The uncanny way that a vicar is able to pedal a very heavy bicycle at a constant speed no matter what the gradient of the slope or the load carried in the front basket. There is always a front basket. Continuing my series on possible meaning of Gloucestershire names, this place is in the Cotswolds and probably does not see a lot of these gentlemen these days. Continue reading Guiting power, the unknown force.