It’s what I’m good at and this week have done more than my fair share. Buying some light shades on the internet ( I can almost hear you saying it serves you right ) and here they are. Climbing the ladder to fit them to the light I discover that they don’t fit. Shade frame too big to fit the light fitting fixture, I’ll soon fix that. There’s one of those gizmos that make it wider so it will fit on one of my other lights, conveniently forgetting that when I take that off, the old light will be unfit for use.

There’s a moment when you’ve bought something where you think: this is alright, I like it. Then a mere nano second or two later you can feel the doubt coming over the horizon. They do seem a bit bigger than I thought. They are a bit heavy, turns into ” not quite what I expected” and when the old fitting and the replacement one fails then the ire rises and Mr Grumbly can be heard rumbling into the room. Is there not something in the packaging that tells you what to do, comes the voice of reason, with added edge to the tone.

Scrabble, tear, look, nope! Nothing in here.

” I’ll email them and ask them what they will do about it”….

No response to the email.

I’ll ring this number here that is customer services…” we are experiencing a high volume of calls….”

That’s it, they are going back!

Here’s where this tale just gets silly. The company are almost impossible to get in touch with, so what to do? There’s nothing for it but to use the Twitter button. It would appear that all customer service is based around Twitter these days. Within 2 hours I have the means to send the bleeding things back to where they came from. I’ll not embarass them further by naming them here but their address is Dooley Rumble.

It’s in Great Blakenham, which is what this is, a bloody great blakenham that has turned into a bad tempered dooley rumble.They try to rescue the situation by sending me 2 free postage labels and send me the same one twice so when I trudge to the post office to send them back, I have to pay to send back one of them. Paying to send back:what I don’t want.

Mr Grumbly is now cranked up to full power. I’ll ask themto pay for the postage. They rescue aforementioned situation yet again by offering a £30-00 voucher to buy something else. Now the challenge of finding something that costs just £30-00 on their site that I like, and that will fit, that will not involve a round trip to Twitter , the Post Office and back.

Anyone know a good lighting shop?