I’m not over fond of flying and doing so on an empty stomach is probably recommended. Especially if you have to be at the airport at 4-00 in the morning. Here we were on the plane ready to take off for Dubrovnik eagerly anticipating our walking holiday in Montenegro. The bacon sandwich looked tempting in the photograph in Tui’s Menu on the plane. (Tui used to be Thompson’s or was it Thomson’s…I suspect that so many people got it wrong that they had a competition to find the shortest domain name for this digital age ). They chose something so bland and meaningless but easy to spell that it’s a miracle that they described their bacon sandwich as a Ciabatta.

Anyhow, I bought one, to keep body and soul together. Expecting it to look like the crispy morsel in the picture. Now, I’m not one to take that many pictures of what I’m about to eat but for this one I thought I’d better. It could then be used in evidence if I had an unexpected trip to the Coroner’s. Here’s the flaccid reality:

It tasted as bad as it looks, and to add insult, it was not cheap.

I promise that this is the end of the horror story of the holiday. It really does get better from here. If you’ve just woken up and feel like breakfast, apologies. There’s lots of cheery stuff to come.