Mr Grumbly wanted for light balloon duties

You will be stationed next to a large metallic object the looks like a massive toy balloon and is the work of world renowned artist Jeff Koons. This is an exceptionally tactile piece of his work and is set on a plinth at the LACM Galleries here in Los Angeles. This plinth also reflects the work.

Your duties will be to observe anyone getting too close to the artwork or, heaven forefend, actually touch it. You must advise them to step away from the balloon.

You will be suitably armed with a plastic covered identity badge and a sullen manner, as well as a personal radio so that you can warn the authorities that the work is likely to be seriously compromised by visiting small children who think that this display, is what it seems to be.

This is an extremely tough assignment as temptation will be high on busy days, whereas on quiet days it is likely you will spend many hours contemplating exactly where your own life went wrong.

Salary will be commensurate with exactly how miserable a ‘vibe’ ( as they say in these parts ) you can impart.

It has to be emphasised that the present incumbent is well established in the post.

Seriously though this is a brilliant piece of sculpture, and it’s well worth a trip to LACMA to view it, and the poor guy who has to stop people who get too close!

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