I don’t recall if this caravan was dumped, I think not. It is pictured in South West France next to a corn field. I think it has the feel of an old master, with that dark set of trees in the background and the wonderful sculptural clouds set on a pale blue behind the tree and Mediterranean blue at the top of the image. I think this would make a fine painting, perhaps a huge one like you get in these modern galleries these days, so big you could not even get it through a caravan door.

Perhaps I’ll do it.

And what price would you put on that painting? Thousands of pounds methinks.

Am I daydreaming of acceptance as a fine artist that people write about? Someone who’s asked to comment on his work on “Front Row” on Radio 4.

“Is there a drop of wine left in that bottle?”

“Go on then”