Turn your underpants…

If like me you have a tendency to laziness, then when you put away your neatly ironed underpants ( ironed??? ) then they simply go on top of the pile. It’s possible that at the bottoms of the pile is a clean pair hardly used, or even new.

So should one turn the pants? If you don’t care a fig then the pants you are wearing are the same pair that you wore just a few prewash days ago. If, however, you are of a mind to always turn, then you are naturally getting the benefit of a complete range of pants.

Speaking of a complete range of pants you might even apply that description to our present leaders. I expect that our present supreme leader tells his wife he has changed his pants but given that he lies about everything then his pants are likely to be as unkempt as his hair. Sailing close to the wind they will not escape unmarked.

The rest of his pants team are of a different type perhaps. I suspect that Rishi wears silk and possibly has no underpants drawers at all. Mr No Drawers wears them but then they go out with the recycling. Yes, he probably wears new ones every day.

Gove will wear only white M and S Y fronts. Traditional style and the waistline will be just below the nipple. It’s a mental image that you may not like to dwell on, they will be sent to a laundry and come back like cardboard, which might explain his unease at times.This image did for John Major when he was supreme leader.

Our culture secretary will wear no pants but may well rely on a thong or two to keep things in place. She will think that this makes her arty when it simply does not. I’m shuddering as I think about it.

The simple lesson to all of us not in power is to imagine those who are in their pants, but beware, it can be a little scary.

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