Whoever designed or made our toaster may well have had the devil in him, or her, on the day they put in the springs. The beast has the launch capacity unseen on any other toasters and frequently send pieces clear of the launch pad. The Sourdough frequently hits the floor, necessitating the “2 Second Rule”, wherein any food like object that hits the deck can be consumed afterwards as long as it has only laid there for 2 seconds. This does not apply to poached eggs.

The toaster sometimes launches the bread so that it lands in another loading bay,  that is some clever engineering for a simple toast maker.

As this morning’s breakfast took off, it did so the to the tune of Vaughan Williams and one of my late father’s favourite jokes. Whenever it came on he would intone “Lark Arse Ending”. Some truth in this as I believe they only sing when on the way down from a great height.With toast, it makes hardly any sound as it flies through the air. So you have to be quick.