About a year ago one of my twin grandsons described something as “gankie”. For a four year old this word invention was new to me and I’ve been puzzling about what it means. It’s not good. My own view is that this Christmas Mince pie from the Coop could easily be described as “gankie”.

Many years ago a good friend of mine at college invited me to Hull, which is in the wilds of East Yorkshire and almost far enough from everything to be declared a separate state. When you get to Goole you think you might be nearly there, but you are not. In those days my friend who hailed from there ,had parents who lived on the Anlaby Road. His father, a small but very dour Yorkshireman of few words, was a fish merchant. Again, back in those days, many fish were landed at Hull. It was a major fishing port for this tough business. One wonders what this man thought of his son going into an effete art school. I suppose he would probably, like a miner, never wish his job, on his offspring. We wanted to be on our best behaviour when we visited. I asked Alan if his Dad was alright as he just seemed to read the local paper in front of the fire and say very little. His mum was super warm and welcoming like a hen with her chicks around, clucking around us making sure we had everything we wanted. Alan reassured me that all was fine.

We came in one evening and Dad was sitting in his usual place, with the paper in front of him. A commercial for Frey Bentos instant pies came on the telly. A corner of the newspaper came down and he looked on. The image of this pie cooking and the pastry rising made a small impression on him. Alan and I sat there waiting for a word from within. The paper went back up, and the few Yorkshire words came forth in judgement: ” It’s all bloody crust”

It was the highlight of the weekend and something we have quoted to each other ever since.

So “gankie” means that it is and all bloody crust.