Monster like a good speech, this was not a great one…

The Monsters on the Plot

An allotment based tale of bugs and monsters on the plot to be read to young children. Fully illustrated throughout in full colour this small book is 28 pages including the cover. All proceeds will be going to Longfield a charity that looks after people at the other end of life to the target audience. Available in their shops for £5-00 and from here for £6-50 to cover postage and packing. Feel free to pay more knowing you'll be supporting a very worthy cause.


It’s rare for allotment plotters to stop for tea. I rarely do myself. Public speaking is something else that’s mercifully rare in my life. The two big events where I had to were my very first one, which was after an exhibition of the Association of Illustrators in the 70s when I was chairman and had to thank everyone for all their hard work. I had no work in the exhibition myself, which is a bit rich in the circumstances. I was not selected! The event was also at the Ritz in London’s West End so at least my first public speaking engagement was somewhere where you could get a good tea. I remember being stone cold sober with nerves but I was at least well prepared. I’d hardly call my speech memorable. Someone did remark on my ‘dull flat Derbyshire delivery’ afterwards, I was pretty miffed at that as I come from Lancashire. The other event was daughter’s wedding in a pub in London. I was well prepared for this too, having had to submit my draft to daughter first, seemed a bit extreme. Here again I was absolutely stone cold sober, and absolutely no-one else was. I could really have said just about anything and they would barely have noticed.

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