It’s the name of the food concession at Bury Football Club, and if it isn’t, it should be. I have this liking or loathing of clever names for businesses, and this idea came to me very early this morning. You may need to know the names of football grounds to understand it, and if you don’t, then feel free to look up where Bury Football Club plays. Perhaps I should have stayed asleep.

Yorkshire and Sheffield in particular seem to have a real problem with this habit. If your business name does not have some sort of clever name then the local banks won’t lend you the start-up money.

“ So Mr Ernshaw, you’re wanting a loan to start up and carpentry business, tell me what’s it to be called”

“Ernshaw and Co Carpentry”

“Is that the best you can do? After all, you’ll be working with wood- already a bonus for a name with it sounding like a verb. Like “woodulike” or “woodumind”, something like that wood do! You’ll need to come back with something better than Ernshaw and Co.

Certain businesses of course, have a history of this sort of thing. Fish and chip shops are notorious, as are hairdressers. The competition for the best names is fierce, and the possible association with dubious organised crime is ignored in “The Codfather”. How people make the link between fried fish and chips and a film about mods and the Who from 40-plus years ago with the name: “Codrophenia” is beyond me.

A recent posting on Facebook pictured a van, I think in South Africa, where swimming pools are plentiful and in need of constant maintenance, with the name of the pool people “ Only Pools and Hoses” Explain that, naming a company in South Africa after a fictitious pair of dubious East End TV characters that specialised in seriously dodgy goods, with no link whatsoever to swimming pools.

The bank manager must have been impressed; it was a very smart, new-looking VW model rather than a Reliant Robin.

Plonkers.